The Cake and Cunnilingus Diet
Best consumed over 7 days.
1 chocolate mud cake
1 carrot cake (Some nice healthy vegetables)
1 banana cake (A lashing of fruit)
1 coffee cake (Keeps you alert)
1 ice cream cake
1 sponge cake
7 cup cakes
1 partner (at least) with long tongue, expertise in pussy licking and an obsession with making you come.
Take cake of your choice into bedroom. Remove clothing and position yourself on the bed according to preference. Direct partner into correct position between your legs. Begin to consume cake as partner licks your clit. Try not to orgasm until you've eaten at least two pieces of cake, if not more. Do not let your partner stop until you've had an orgasm, or two.
Do this for at least two hours a day.
Note: This diet will not make you lose weight. Indeed, you'll probably get a little fatter if you stick to it religiously. But who gives a damn? You'll enjoy yourself so much that a cellulite will be the very last thing on your mind.